Dude, They Brought a Cannon!!

So we actually pulled together the float we have always talked about, the pirate raft with the cannon. We showed up at the put in about noon on the 4th on the Jefferson. The river had enough people to probably put it in the top 15 most populated cities in the state. It was complete with coppers at the beginning making sure people didn't park on the highway, fish cops in the middle looking for life jackets, and more at the end making sure you could walk before you started driving. I don't know how we got away with the life jacket, or lack of, thing. We got laughs and a thumbs up from the men in uniform, who'd a though.












The cliffs were a mass of humanity beyond anything anyone had witnessed. Amazingly nobody got jumped on the entire stay there. This is where the cannon came into it's own. Upon firing off a round the entire crowd would go silent for a second followed by cheers and yelling circling around the beer infused masses. The cliff spectical was completed by the man with a cape and a arm sling, also from the pirate raft if people were wondering. After loosing and finding a dog and loosing someones younger brother overboard when the raft hit bottom we made it to the take out. The one lane bridge was a disaster and the displays of drunken debauchery were impressive.
Upon returning to Bozeman we did the only logical thing, continued firing the cannon, BBQ'd, and lit 300 saturn missiles and 1000 black cats at the same time, obviously.

When starving in the woods, eat a snake!!

Everyone Ready for the 4th?

Up and going

insidebozeman.com is up and going replacing jesseparker.org

It may take a while for the magic workings of web addresses may take a couple days to filter through the internets.

In unrelated stuff here is a picture from biking up Shafthouse Sunday.

4th annual White Linen Party

Hello?

Is there anybody out there? It seems like after all the complaints when .org was down that maybe there actually was people who visited this blog. Now that it's back up they are silent. . .

That's a huuuuge bitch!

It took 10 hours of hiking to mount her, but the ride (down) was good.

See one is for the money two is for my niggaz who jack Niggaz ain't takin that shit no mo' they got big Benz

from Urban dictionary...

cubicle speed: May 8

caffeine-laden food/drugs used to stay awake in a modern office environment.

Coffee, caffeinated tea, xenadrine pills, caffeine pills, starbucks lattes, etc.

This blog needs a new home

Someone find a domain for this blog, I'm going to redirect .org to .com... I haven't done much to this blog in a while, and don't want to deal with it anymore; one online identity is enough. I'll take the domain name association down once a new home is found... How about blog.insidebozeman.com? Or whateveryouwant.blogspot.com? So gather up a little bit of motivation and make this place your own..

Keep me updated

A Silo

Help, my car is so big I can't park it!

from the office of redundant redundancy

this is seriously from an email I just received.
"The Assessment Board is in the process of assessing our assessment efforts. "
I think this is why my predecessor retired.

Don't drop the Whiskey

Regular pictures here

Sheer Marketing Genius

The only can of Mountain Dew soda I saw in South Korea. With a clever marketing campaign like this, Pepsi is sure to win the hearts (and yen, won, and yuans) of billions of Asians.

To hell with green tea, what with it's obivous lack of American style and taste!

Does it get any more badass?

Bike Cops

So I was riding home from the Filling Station last night after a Cloud Cult show on my bike. No light, wearing all black, sometime around 2:00AM. I turn into the Peet's hill parking lot, planning on heading up onto the Burke Park trail that goes back to my house on Highland. I hear a biker behind me. It was strange because I didn't see him before. He asks me to stop, so I look back with a bewildered look and stop pedaling. Then he say's he's a cop. A dialogue ensues:

Him: You know this park is closed at night, don't you?

Me: No, I didn't know that. That's stupid.

Him: Yeah, it is, and you are supposed to have a headlamp too.

Me: Yeah, I know that. I couldn't find mine when I left earlier.

Him: Can I see your ID?

I hand him my drivers license. He looks at it, calls it in and finds out I don't have any outstanding warrents and gives it back.

Him: Well, I'm just going to give you a warning, you should have a light. And go ahead and go through the park if you want. Have a nice ride.

Me: You too

and we go our seperate ways. . .

Thats a Lot of Poop

A broken pump caused 100 million litres of sewage to pour into the Fourth of Firth from a sewage processing plant. The sewage flowed for two and a half days before engineers could fix the problem by installing emergency pumps.

The chairman of the local residents' association has claimed that the plant, "has an infrastructure that is basically Third World technology." Residents have complained previously about the unsavory smells coming from the plant.

alright, alright!

Look, before you get your panties in a wad and start bitching about freedom of speech and censorship listen up. The problem is my name is the one in the URL. If someone posts something I don't want my name attached to, I'm gonna delete it. Think of it as quality control.

I certainly agree that there are all kinds of wealth, race, and gun control problems. You can't just post a picture that you know is going to shock people for the sole purpose of thinking those who are offended are wrong and you are right. Use your words, state an opinion. Chances are everyone who reads this agrees anyways. This isn't FOX news, no one needs to see anymore of that shit that is already saturating the media unless it has some real thoughts attached to it.

If you don't agree with this and think you are still being oppressed, make you're own blog. It takes .5 seconds, so do it and quit complaining. Then it can be whatever you want... Hell, I'll even point this one anywhere anyone wants if they get the initiative to buy a domain or anything like that...

Also F'ed

The day of the VT shootings, around 200 men, women and children were killed with a car bomb in Baghdad. It barely made it on the front page. Even if we only consider civilians in Iraq 1/6th as important as students in the US, that's still more then 33. (BBC image)

Happy Friday

My office is not messy.

How not to pond skim

From Big Sky's closing party on Saturday. At least it was sunny and warm, because only 1 person made it across the dual pond with a jump in the middle. It was certainly a good
spectator sport.

Flying is for birds, Drinking is for Men.

Flying is kinda fun though.

Rasta Wal-Mart

Taking over the whole world!!!

FU H2

Saw this on www.drunkcyclist.com. A 4 Hummer accident outside Minneapolis. Funny shit it is. FUH2.com now has over 4,000 images of people flipping of H2's (and model H2's in Jesse's case)

Ryan Leech in Seattle

Thought I'd share this somewhat shady camera-phone photo of Ryan Leech, renowned Trials rider, doing his thing on a piece of round pipe about 3" in diameter. He was at the Seattle Bike Expo, showing off his sponsor Norco the weekend before last. I tried to catch a DVD he threw towards where I was standing, but was beat by a little kid who snatched it up. I guess those are the breaks.

It gives you wings.. err... hooves?

Power Horse, the other austrian energy drink. Tastes exactly like the red bovine, but comes in a cool glass bottle..

Makes you want to do things like ride a bike over the ice in the yard..

Window Rock Cabin

A big night/morning by all accounts.

A particularly nerdy email from liz's sister

(I accidentally deleted the original that liz posted, sorry liz)

HELL EXPLAINED BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry mid-term.

The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it
with colleagues, via the Internet, which is of course, why we now have the
pleasure of enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?


Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the
mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which
souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think
that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.
Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell,
let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most
of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you
will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since
people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all
souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the
number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate
of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for
the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell
has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell
breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my
Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,"
and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number
two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already
frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen
over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
extinct.......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine
being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"

Spin cycle

Ian going over the bars at Bridger Bowl

Prince of the Ridge. . .

I got beat by some randonee racer guy with the lightest ski touring setup known to man who was taller and more tan then me, and by a girl named Jeannie Wall who is the 4 time womens national mountaineering champ. I led the first 3 laps and decided I didn't want to suffer that badly all day again and slowed down a little bit. I still won a $300 tranciever and another backpack, bringing my total number of backpacks to 13. I carried my GPS so I could laugh at the profile later on. Here's what my day looked like:




10,375' of accumulated vertical in 5 hours

February

Semi-random pictures from the last couple weeks.

Air over Dead Ibex

Sick skiing in Chamonix. These guys found a headless, footless dead ibex who apparently unsuccessfully attempted a 500' air to flat on the Brevent side. Poor little fella, he was probably the only one that hadn't been eaten by the french yet. The snow there is worse then the snow here by the sounds of it. Global warming?

And then there is Tahoe, where it is certainly worse snow then here. Chris from splitboard.com demonstrates below:












We are still doing alright, although all the snow in the Bridgers has warmed past 32 degrees and is now in the process of re-freezing into a single solid frozen block of ice. At least it has consolidated enough that the dangerous avalanche danger has gone down. . .

Marshall on Saddle Peak last Saturday:

What?

I wish the chances were better, I don't think I've ever experienced precipitation in the form of ice pellets. . .

Staggering losses suffered by Covenant and Brute forces

An unprecedented spree of fighting has left both the Covenant and Brute forces devastated. Reports are still leaking in but a majority of the fighting seems to have taken place late last night. A rare eye-witness account describes the attacker as a human like creature with a sword. "He was running and jumping everywhere hacking down anything standing in his way and indiscriminately throwing grenades among friend and foe, I finally threw my arms in the air and ran away. I don't think many others made it out." A picture taken from a field camera supports these reports.

Analysts predict this move may help to reunite the Covenant and Brute forces who have had recent fighting among themselves. A spokesman for the Covenant said "We can not be fighting among ourselves while there is an enemy as great as this threatening us both." The Brute spokesman merely roared, pulled out a grenade launcher, and ran off shooting at something.

Pretty ironic series of headlines